Get Into It

Masters of Sex

MoS

WHO’S IN IT

Lucian from Underworld, Janice from Mean Girls, Epperly from Gossip Girl, Shaun from Fired Up!, Beau from The Red Pony.

THE PREMISE

Drama about the lives and relationships of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, pioneers of the science of human sexuality.

WHAT WORKS

Almost everything so far. The casting, the acting, and the writing are very good so far. I love Lizzy Caplan and will follow her anywhere. She’s Casey from Party Down for God’s sake! So Michael Sheen is Dr. William Masters, a stuffy, married, out of touch OB/GYN at a teaching hospital in St. Louis. Very accomplished. His wife, Libby, looks right out of Mad Men. If I had my way, she would be Betty Draper. Libby seems like she could take the Hammaconda in a way that January Jones couldn’t. All Libby wants is to have a baby. Women of the ’50’s and their stupid fucking dreams. Bill and Libby are trying to get pregnant but with no success. Separate twin beds might have something to do with it. Bill has Libby convinced that the difficulty with conception lies with her. He is a fucking monster in this regard, because he puts her through the medical ringer attempting to determine a solution for her infertility. He is the one shooting blanks. His younger colleague, Ethan, knows this and is caring for his wife, but does not tell her. Virginia, Bill’s assistant, is a single mom, who is light years ahead of her time. Ethan is hot. Virginia knows it, and she fucks the shit out of that fool. He’s smitten, and she just wanted service. They are friends in her eyes, he doesn’t get it. There is a lot of sex in this show. SHOCK! But it’s tasteful! Beau Bridges is the closet case provost that won’t allow Bill to do his sex study in the hospital. So initially he is forced to do it in a whorehouse. They aren’t in Texas, so Dolly isn’t there. Frowny face. But you know who is there? Maggie Sheffield from The Nanny, and she looks like what I imagine Kim Kardashian’s pussy looks like. Beat. The. Fuck. Up. See?

Maggie Sheffield

WHAT DOESN’T

The pacing. Sometimes this show moves so fucking slow, I’m so bored I could die (then Kristen Johnston falls out the window at Candy Bergen’s party, you know what I’m talking about). I don’t mind something that moves slow, as long as it is compelling. The Wire, anyone? They can’t seem to fill the entire 50-some odd minutes with interesting material. The sex scenes would be more compelling if I were straight. They did get some gays in the study for a hot minute, and it was a hot minute and I was wide awake for that. But remember the time period, so they were booted as deviants. Whatever! My hope is that the pacing improves or more interesting things start to happen. Otherwise, I’ll just watch Kinsey once a week. That movie was fucking good.

THE GRADE: B+

The People’s Couch

the-peoples-couch2

WHO’S IN IT

Actress Brandy Howard. Actor Julie Goldman

PREMISE

A reality show where “real people” are filmed reacting to various TV shows that they are watching.

WHY I LOVE IT

It is fucking hysterical. Bravo only aired 3 episodes, which is a damn shame. I missed the first episode, but the other two are on my DVR permanently. So the people watching TV are supposed to be real people. I guess actors are real people too, but by “real” you assume they aren’t in the business. The second episode bounces around through 8 sets of people: the 3 queens (one of which was a child actor that was on Star Search, Full House, etc.), sisters Amanda & Kenya, of course Julie & Brandy, the Blanda family (the mom is drinking and she gets INTO it), the Bradley-Redd family (the mom and the sister are the ones bringing the LOL’s; the mom was one of Barker’s Beauties), sisters Cathy & Destiney, Tina, Tarz, & Baby Tarzie (they are gross, and have the world’s widest bed), and the Egber family (it’s a mom & dad and two of their sons all in bed together. The sons have to be gay, one of them was uncredited in The Bling Ring and has like 5 credits on IMDb).

BEST MOMENTS

In the episode, The People watch Catfish: The TV Show, The Voice, I Dream of NeNe, American Horror Story: Coven, Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, and Beyond Scared Straight. While watching NeNe, Barker’s Beauty’s daughter says, so matter-of-factly about NeNe, “You can’t tell me she don’t look like a chocolate Big Bird.” Hilarious. NeNe hired a busted ass wedding planner. Brandy: “That’s it, you’re fired fucking Tiffany. Take your gold leaflet blouse and kick rocks, bitch!” Gold. While watching Catfish, mama Blanda was like, “I need a margarita!” Meanwhile, she has a giant glass of chardonnay on the table in front of her. With ice cubes in it! But after the commercial break, bitch has a big ass margarita. I like a woman who can change lanes and hit the gas like that just watching a bullshit show on MTV. By the time they got to Beyond Scared Straight, mama was a fucking mess. She went THROUGH it. My favorite is Kenya. She is too many things. I wish I knew how to post video clips. When they are watching AHS: Coven, her reaction to Precious being on the show is priceless. Kenya is on the right in the picture below.

Amanda & Kenya

WORST MOMENT

The end credits.

I wish this show was like Dateline in the 90’s. An hour-long and on 4 nights a week! I never want it to end. But the interwebs tell me that the show was cancelled, which gives me the sads. If you ever come across them, record them and never let them go.

THE GRADE: A

The Blacklist

TheBlacklist

WHO’S IN IT

Alan Shore from Boston Legal, Claire from Step Up Revolution, Mike from Homeland, Farber from Dirt, Commander Lock from The Matrix Reloaded, and Dr. Banerjee from Alcatraz.

THE PREMISE

Raymond “Red” Reddington is a former government agent, who went rogue, became a criminal and eluded capture for decades. One day he decides to turn himself in to the FBI, and offers to help them catch a super criminal of the week, but on one condition. He will only talk to Elizabeth “Liz” Keen, who basically just graduated from FBI school.

WHAT WORKS

The show is entertaining enough that I am going to watch the entire season. James Spader looks like he is having a ball as Red. He is rocking fedoras and chewing scenery like there is no tomorrow. The chemistry between everyone on the show is pretty good, except for Liz. We’ll get to her in a minute. The plots are sometimes outrageous. In “The Stewmaker”, the baddie of the week is an old guy who puts people in motel bathrooms, dissolves them in the tub, and rinses them down the drain. Here’s the thing, I get that people can be dissolved. But I am pretty sure that the chemicals that achieve that would wreak havoc on a fiberglass tub. Not in this show. The acting is pretty good and the writing is fine. The casting is on point. Ryan Eggold, who plays Liz’s shady husband Tom, is hotter than ever. But he is also giving me Steve/Jimmy from Shameless realness. Parminder Nagra is basically playing the same character she did in Alcatraz, except she is FBI rather than a doctor. It’s just fine though, she plays the role well.

WHAT DOESN’T

Liz. Red calls her Lizzy, and she is a basic bitch. The actress that plays her is terrible. My guess was that this was her first role, because her acting skills are right on par with a Ziploc bag. A Ziploc bag with dead fucking eyes. I didn’t recognize her from anything, so when I looked her up on IMDb, imagine my surprise to discover the she has 16 credits to her name! The highlights? The Cleaner, My Bloody Valentine, Sex and the City 2, and Step Up Revolution. Know what I’m saying? Red also seems to be able to recall hundreds of important details at the drop of a hat. We are supposed to believe that he can remember that there is going to be an incident in the park today? I call bullshit on that. I can barely remember what I had for dinner yesterday, yet he knows what any given terrorist is going to do in any given week? I don’t think so, buddy. Of course, we are in store for 22 weeks of him knowing every step of the bad guy’s plan which he will relay to that basic bitch he is working with. Ugh. Speaking of basic bitches, in this week’s episode, “Gina Zanetakos”, Gina herself is played by Amanda Clark from Revenge. I hated her on Revenge. She didn’t deserve to have Jack’s baby. She talks like her mouth is wired shut, and I wish it fucking was. There is also side plot involving Lizzy husband, Tom, not being who he says he is. Red told Lizzy that Gina was Tom’s lover, which means that Tom really has a type doesn’t he? I was intrigued by this plot at the beginning, but now I find it tiresome. It seems like he is being set up to look like he is something that he isn’t. Yawn. Honestly, who in the real world, would give a shit about this couple? I am certain that question has the same answer as Rachel Reilly asking who wants to see her HOH room. NOBODY.

THE GRADE: B-