Month: September 2014

#YoureTheWorst

You're The Worst

THE CAST

Ordinarily I would just say this show is full of nobodies, BUT, instead I will say that the majority of the cast is unknown to me.

Chris Geere is Jimmy, Aya Cash is Gretchen, Desmin Borges is Edgar, Kether Donohue is Lindsay.

THE PREMISE

Two toxic, self-destructive people fall in love and attempt a relationship.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING

Gretchen, Lindsay, Edgar, and Jimmy… in that order.

The show opens at a wedding. Jimmy used to date the bride. Jimmy is bitter that the bride is getting married. So much so that he is using every disposable camera on the tables to take pics down his pants. Nice. He dances with bride and they get into an argument, a scene is caused, and he literally gets thrown out the front door. He lights a cigarette, when a redhead walks up and asks to bum one. His standard response to people bumming cigarettes: they’re pretty expensive. But he gives her one. She has a giant present that she stole from the wedding along with a bottle of champagne that she is drinking directly from. Some disparaging of the happy couple ensues, then next thing you know, they are giving each other the business. Here’s the thing. I don’t know if Standards and Practices were off the day this was shot, or if they just don’t care anymore. The producers have gotten away with some of the most provocative sex scenes I have ever seen on a basic cable show. I am talking about “take my breath away blue lit” shots of pussy eating, riding cowgirl, and hair pulling doggie-style! I couldn’t fucking believe it. By the way, this show is on FX, not HBO, Showtime, or Spice (is that still a thing?).

The bride’s sister, Lindsay, is besties with Gretchen. Lindsay is a piece of fucking work. She blew four different guys at her 5-year reunion. You know what I’m saying? Jimmy has a PTSD roommate, Edgar, who is oddly attractive. Not right away, but he’ll grow on you. You can only imagine the PTSD storylines he will be involved in. Several misadventures will ensue over the course of the season, including a great episode where Gretch and Linds go on a coke binge. This show is depraved and hilarious.

Jimmy is an author that has met with limited success. Lindsay is married to a total nerd and leases a Jag. Gretchen is a music industry publicist. She has a client, Sam (who has two hangers-on called Shitstain and Honey Nutz). They have an exchange on the roof of a building after he and his crew trash a photographer’s studio because she wasn’t there. He calls her a bitch like 10 times. At the end, he nonchalantly says, “Anyway, bitch, this is your fault. You need to apologize to him for being a such a no-showing up bitch!” I am not doing it justice, but I laughed and laughed. But not like I laughed at Naomi Campbell being asked by Joan Rivers if she’s ever just wanted a Cinnabon… A WHAT?!

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T

It’s more like why you can’t… the season is over. But it is available at fx.com and on the FXNOW app. So get your shit together, and get in.

THE GRADE: B+

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#MarriedFX

Married-FX

THE CAST

Nat Faxon plays pretty much the same character Nat always plays.

Judy Greer is a delight, if you are watching Arrested Development. Here she is dependable, and just ok.

Brett Gelman is everywhere these days… also playing pretty much the same type of bearded crazy.

Jenny Slate so far can do no wrong in my eyes.

Paul Reiser is now a silver fox.

THE PREMISE

Russ and Lina Bowman (Faxon, Greer) are married with 3 kids and renting in Los Angeles. He works at a copy store (sort of) and she doesn’t work. They both go to extraordinary lengths to keep their marriage afloat.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING

If you are die-hard fans of either Nat Faxon or Judy Greer, then by all means.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T

The show is fine, but it is just that. Fine. They aren’t really breaking any ground here. If you’re a couple with kids, you’ll be staring into the future so I hope there’s booze in your house! They are mostly miserable, they’re drinking and drugging whenever they can, and living day-to-day just trying to make it through. It really isn’t funny, it is passably enjoyable. The only comedy occurs when Jess (Slate) is onscreen. She is married to Shep (Reiser) but swears she’s not a gold-digger. She loves damaged men, not that Shep is damaged though. When AJ (Gelman) goes to rehab, she visits him everyday. Not because she gives a shit about AJ (which she does), but she is more interested in making connections with the addicts there then making the whole experience about herself. She is a dream, but she is underutilized in such a way that does not lend itself to you watching an entire season of this. Nor do I see this being able to sustain itself over multiple seasons. If I were Russ, I would turn to Lina, look her in the eye and tell her so earnestly to get her shit, get her kids, and get out.

The show that comes on after this is far superior. It’s called You’re the Worst.

THE GRADE: C.

#TheStrain

The Strain

THE CAST

Corey Stoll definitely looks better bald (House of Cards), but I still would.

Mia Maestro is a name that I feel like I should know, but I don’t. Even though I have seen four of her movies.

Sean Astin serving Samwise Gamgee realness.

David Bradley doesn’t have a cat, but he is NOT THE ONE as a pawn shop owner/dude that knows what the fuck is going on.

THE PREMISE

FX says “A thriller that tells the story of Dr. Ephraim Goodweather, the head of the Center for Disease Control Canary Team in New York City. He and his team are called upon to investigate a mysterious viral outbreak with hallmarks of an ancient and evil strain of vampirism. As the strain spreads, Eph, his team, and an assembly of everyday New Yorkers, wage war for the fate of humanity itself. ”

WHY YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING

Guillermo del Toro is behind this, so I was on board from the get go.

This show is gruesome in the most awesome way. Other than that, I don’t really have much to say. I am watching to see where the show is going. It kind of has a vibe that makes me feel like at some point, Victor from Underworld is going to show up.

I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

The previous section was written on Aug 2, after having watched only an episode or two. It is now Sep 30 (sorry for the long hiatus, I have a day job bro), and the season is nearly over. That being said, The Strain is ludicrous in almost every way. It is gruesome, which did start out cool, but devolved into a silly plot device so that Guillermo could gorge himself on second-tier television special effects. The vampires on this show fire a giant sucker appendage out of their mouths (that kind of unfurls like the opening of a nasty flower) to suck blood from people. They are full of disgusting worms that actually carry the “virus”. They are Walking Dead slow when they walk, and can’t seem to aim their people sucker very well. Like it’s spring-loaded and the can’t control its trajectory. Fucking dumb. They put Peter Russo in one of John Travolta’s old lace fronts and it looks terrible. Mr. Filch looks older than ever, but like Russell Crowe’s son, he’s not the one. He carries a serious sword, he survived the Holocaust, and he knows one of the vampire higher-ups.

The HVIC is called The Master, not to be confused with the Scientology movie of the same name. The Master is BUSTED. I can’t wait to see his episode of Botched, because someone fucked his shit all up. The master gives me the lovechild of The Viceroy from Star Trek: Nemesis and Jocelyn Wildenstein. Sounds hot right? Nope. You kill The Master, you kill them all. At this point in the show, they think they know where The Master is. I could care less at this point, but I will finish the show. A second season seems impossible to sustain story-wise, and I don’t remember if FX hit the renewal button on this and I can’t be bothered to look it up.

When some crazy shit like that is going down, why do people always think they can save their loved ones? You can’t. In fact, once you turn into one of these creatures, the first thing you do is go after your loved ones. ‘They kill the ones they love most first.” If you didn’t roll your eyes after that, then there’s no helping you.

The Strain could have been so much better.

THE GRADE: C-