WHO’S IN IT

Leslie Glass from Desperately Seeking Susan, Lipsyncher from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and Woman at Diner from Boys On the Side.

THE PREMISE

The trials and tribulations of 2 nurses and a doctor in a geriatric extended care wing of a down-but-not-out hospital in Southern California.

SHOULD YOU BE WATCHING IT?

My gut reaction is yes, but I honestly can’t say. Two episodes have aired so far, and this show is kinda fucked up. It is billed as a dark comedy, but you wouldn’t know that from watching the pilot. That shit was bleak. The lighting is so harsh. Fluorescents all the way, but I get it. They are in a hospital, so you shouldn’t expect the $50,000 lighting the used to light Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole in Sex and the City. This is not glamorous at all. My guess is the make up budget is $0.

Jackie Harris plays Dr. Jenna James, former Director of Geriatrics in the main building of the hospital, now banished to this extended care wing as Director of Medicine. She can’t believe she is being forced to work here, and she feels that she is above it as evidenced when the parking people call her to tell her that she is parking in the wrong place or whatever and she tells them, “I have a job that’s infinitely more important than yours.” Then she hangs up the phone. She is also conducting a fecal study and is constantly looking for her stool samples. Haggard doesn’t begin to describe her as Dr. James.

Ms. Swan plays Dawn Forchette, seemingly one of only two nurses on the floor. Her look gives me Snow White… 70 pounds after the fairy tale. But she likes to pump a work-inappropriate knee-high pair of fuck me boots. Any nurse will immediately call bullshit on that. You can’t nurse in that! Dawn is desperately single. We find out in the second episode (the best one of the two, which I will get to in a minute) that her husband “brought her some papers to sign” which turned to be for a $25,000 loan which he used to buy a Mercedes, then proceeded to bounce with said Mercedes. That is why her wages are being garnished. You know else is being garnished? All the fucking food this bitch is eating on the job. A patient dies in the pilot, on their birthday, and this bitch swooped in and snatched the cake on the sly the proceeded to eat the entire thing “secretly.” She’s a fucking mess.

Deputy Raineesha Williams is DiDi Ortley, the other nurse on the floor. At first I didn’t get why Dawn always bosses her around (other than the obvious), but when I re-watched the second episode this morning, I noticed something I hadn’t before. Dawn is an RN. DiDi is an LPN. So Dawn is kinda the HBIC until the new supervising nurse, Patsy De La Serda shows up. Patsy is a man (short for Patrizio), but he’s one of the gurls. Ya feel me? Anyway, DiDi is the most put-upon, hardest working person in this ward. She does all the shit jobs and cleans up all the shit. A very unglamorous role for an actress for sure. However, much to my surprise, Raineesha is the best part of the show so far. In just two episodes, Niecy Nash’s performance thus far mesmerizing. I was completely surprised by this caliber of a dramatic performance from her. I would love to see some Emmy love for her next year. She isn’t playing the “sassy black friend” for once, and it is a dream.

WHY I WILL KEEP WATCHING

Niecy Nash.

Ok, so. The second episode. Antoine, a black orderly, wheels in this old, white bitch (you know how hospitals are, she can walk). Her name is Varla Pounder. Varla arrives with an incomplete chart, so Dawn has no idea what her issue is. Antoine is like, “this is all they gave me. GOOD LUCK”, and walks away. Dawn leans over to her and says, “Hello, Varla” who doesn’t miss a beat and responds with: “Is that coon gone?!” Who’s died and gone to heaven? Me. You KNOW this bitch is going to be a handful, and she fucking was. So that comment was made within earshot of DiDi, who, of course, Dawn pawns off on her. Varla starts ranting about how she isn’t doing shit and wants no part of whatever they want to do, and she is NOT getting her blood pressure taken because “they did it 600 fucking times in that other building.” Then she says to DiDi, “You think you have the upper hand because you heard me say a bad word. WELL YOU DON’T!!” I don’t want to ruin the Varla Experience for you, but it should be a ride somewhere. “Half the whores on this floor weren’t even born in this country! I was born in Bakersfield! I want a cigarette!” Sorry, I can’t help myself. DiDi is my girl, and I am totes along for the ride no matter how fucked up it could get.

GRADE: B+

NIECY NASH: A-