WHO’S IN IT

Rain Robinson from Star Trek: Voyager.

PREMISE

Her first stand-up special for HBO.

WHAT WORKED

Nothing. I laughed once in 50-some minutes.

WHAT DIDN’T

The jokes.

I think she wanted this to be as funny as Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic. It is not. Jesus Is Magic is genius, and if you are offended by the comment that the best time to have a baby is when you are a black teenager, then it’s not for you. You need to get over yourself. I think all she wanted to do was shock people. I don’t mind being shocked, as long as it’s funny… or actually shocking. The opening bit has her bouncing a tennis ball of off the front of the Largo Theater where this was filmed (in a room that only seats 39). A Boyz N the Hood-style giant convertible full of Mexicans pulls up and talk to her. A joint gets lit, it gets passed to her, then she says, “What do you call a car full of Mexicans? Pains in my ass…. hole.” Red flag.

But I continued to watch. The first story about porn went nowhere, but served as set up for a segue about her mom being in the hospital which I feel was shock attempt #1. “Speaking of men cumming on lady’s faces, my mom’s been sick.” Really? Attempt #2 involved a fictitious University of North Carolina study that found the 9/11 widows gave great handjobs. Attempt #3 was that “rape victims are generally not complainers.” I have two more, but you get the idea. It reeked of desperation. The 39 people in the room were not really buying what she was selling, but it was being filmed, so. It culminated in a song where she sang the word “cunt” 31 times in a row. I was so shocked, my eyes almost rolled out of my face.

I did laugh out loud once, about 19 minutes in. She was talking about Mother Teresa being self-conscious about her thighs. She was turned to the side, presenting the side of her right ass cheek and thigh and Mother Teresa says, “Ok, this is fine. Ok. But then, it’s like, when I clench, it’s all oatmeal.” Other than that, nothing. Not even a grin. The miracle here was she did 55 minutes of stand-up without any jokes.

GRADE: F.