WARNING: If you have not seen the finale, get your shit together because it was 3 days ago.

I love Project Runway. I am always excited to watch it, and I’m in the moment, but the show is a throwaway, because I don’t retain it. Every week I have to ask who had been eliminated the week before. Whoops! Anyway, so, the finale. The 4 designers that made it to the finale were Justin, Dom, Alexandria, and Bradon. Am I the only one that thinks Alexandria should have been sent upstairs to clean up her space weeks ago?! I thought her clothes were terrible every week, yet she was so confident that she had the winning design every time! That’s what I call a dumb bitch. The curve ball thrown at them this time was the Tide Washable Challenge. BORING. Justin used a 3D printer to make some accent pieces, and they all looked like plastic bullshit from Claire’s. Bradon’s collection was fine, but that one blue dress was giving me “figure skater” all day long. Dom did a cool metallic ombre dress that was stunning, but she had a purple get-up that was screaming Kimora Lee Simmons.

Speaking of Dom, for as many times as she was in the Garnier hair salon, why didn’t any of those queens in there snatch that bitch up, tell her that her mop was BUSTED then hook her ass up?!!? Her hair is awful. She is a beautiful girl, but that hair has got to go. You know what else has got to go? Billy B. from L’Oreal. He looks like he is about 5’3″, swollen, has a hatchet face, and cuts his nails with scissors. I feel like every morning, before he applies Smouldering Eyeliner Classic, Butterfly Mascara, Tru Match Foundation, and Visible Lift blush, he eats a baby. But I digress.

I scored their designs as they came down the runway (and averaged them together).

Justin: D+ D+ F C- B A- B+ F F B (1.725)

Dom: B+ B A- B+ C+ B- D B A- A- (2.975)

Alexandria: F D+ B+ B C+ C- C C+ C- D- (1.825)

Bradon: B B- B+ A- C- B+ C+ C+ B- B- (2.775)

I thought Dom and Bradon had the best collections (math doesn’t lie), and Dom had the advantage. Guess the fuck what? Dom did win! I’d never predicted the winner this way, and was thrilled to have been correct. We’ll see if it holds up for the Project Runway: All-Stars finale. A-.