THE CAST IN SIX DEGREES OF: CAMERON DIAZ

Ari Graynor was in What’s Your Number? with Robert Masiello, who was in Knight and Day with Cameron Diaz.

Sara Gilbert was in Poison Ivy with Drew Barrymore, who was in Charlie’s Angels with Cameron Diaz.

Kristin Davis was in The Shaggy Dog with Philip Pavel, who was in The Sweetest Thing with Cameron Diaz.

David Alan Grier was in The Player with Gina Gershon, who was in Slackers with Cameron Diaz.

Ryan Hansen was in Last Call with Tom Arnold, who was in Welcome to Hollywood with Cameron Diaz.

THE PREMISE

Same as the film… bitch gets dumped, gets nothing and tries digging for gold as a teacher at a public school.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING

Ari Graynor.

Ari was the blond girl in Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist who got wasted and came to when she heard the boys talking about going “balls deep.” Fast forward to her roaming the Port Authority and telling the ticketing agent, “They said they were going to go balls deep! Does that sound like fun? Not always!” She also started a sex line in For A Good Time, Call…” She was great in both of those, and she is just as stellar in this. She claims she has never seen the film, so as not to color her performance.  Graynor plays Meredith, a recent divorcee who married for money and left with nothing. She moves in with her friend Brie, who immediately send Meredith to pick up her step-daughter Lily from school. Not sure how she got the school since she has no car, but when she does, she finds Lily (thanks to a photo in hand) and has this exchange:

Meredith: “Hi! Your step-mom sent me to get you.”

Lily: “That’s what child molesters say.”

Meredith: “Don’t flatter yourself.”

I was fucking in at this point. Carl (Grier) is the principal of Richard Nixon High School. He is mentally unstable having just gone through a divorce himself. He is clearly taking it hard since he was bamboozled into hiring a gold digger to teach children. Charlotte York is Ginny (subbing as Lucy Punch’s character)… the stickler who is sure that Meredith is a fraud. She’s fine. Joel (Hansen) is the Jason Segal character… the coach that went to high school with Meredith. If Party Down has as big a dick as HIMYM, then he is hotter than ever. Despite all of Meredith’s gold digging, she always ends up doing right by the kids. It is heartwarming in that way, as she tends to admit her faults yet still tries to empower the misfit girls she is dealing with. At the same time, if Elizabeth Halsey actually showed up at this school, Meredith would read her for filth and I would enjoy every minute of it.

WHY YOU SHOULDN’T

Sara Gilbert.

I don’t know what has happened to her. Is Linda Perry trying to drain the last bits of youth from her or what? My guess is she is fulfilling the role of that fat mousey bitch from the film, although she is not fat. But what she is is ghoulish. Darlene looks like a troll that lives under a bridge who will eat your fucking baby the moment you look away. Her hair is a rat’s nest. Wardrobe is horrendous. Her character is so desperate to be accepted and liked that I can’t even stand it. If those are her real teeth, then she needs to hit a dentist. She is serving borderline Billy-Bob teeth realness, and quite frankly it is hard to watch. I feel like Rosanne & Dan Connor would have cut her off long ago (remember they won the lottery in the last season).

Hopefully, Darlene’s terrible characterization will not lead to the show’s demise. It premiered to 7.87 million viewers (2.1 rating/6 share). The following week it dipped slightly to 6.52 million viewers (1.5 rating/4 share). We’ll see I guess.

THE GRADE: B+