WHY I CAN’T BE BOTHERED

Neither show had a very interesting premise. Resurrection is manipulative, and Believe feels like pandering. One is dead people coming back to life out of nowhere, and the other is Jean Grey: The Formative Years. Do either sound interesting? No. If you want dead people to come back, and be interesting, you bury them in Pet Semetary. Who doesn’t want Gage to slice their Achilles tendon with an Exacto knife? Jean Grey is the weakest X-Men character (second only to Storm as played by Halle Berry), so who wants to watch her Wonder Years? Not this bitch.

Resurrection stars Ruth Dewitt Bukater (yes, mother of Rose Dewitt Bukater), Juliet Darling (or Anna Stern depending on your preference), Red Forman, and per The Chew, screen “legend” Omar Epps. That’s a joke, right? Believe stars Special Agent Dale Cooper (aka Trey McDougal, aka Orson Hodge), Ed “Braz” Brazzleton (aka Latimer King, aka Det. Roland Castlebach), and that Asian bitch from The Real World: Seattle. How fucking weird is all of that?

Are you as bored as I am with these two? Thank goodness.

THE GRADES: F.