THE CAST IN SIX DEGREES OF JOHNNY DEPP

Toby Stephens was in The Announcement with Tom Hollander who was in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End with Johnny Depp.

Hannah New will be in Maleficent with Liam McKenna who was in The Libertine with Johnny Depp.

Luke Arnold was in Broken Hill with Timothy Hutton who was in Secret Window with Johnny Depp.

Zach McGowan was in Terminator Salvation with Christian Bale who was in Public Enemies with Johnny Depp.

Tom Hopper was in Saxon with Sue Maund who was in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street with Johnny Depp.

THE PREMISE

A pirate show that takes place 20 years before Treasure Island, while trying real hard to not be Pirates of the Caribbean.

WHAT WORKS

Tom Hopper is really hot. But as far as the show is concerned, I couldn’t tell you. I barely made it through the first episode.

WHAT DOESN’T

The show takes place is 1715… and they use dollars. There were no dollars in 1715.

It feels like Michael Bay (who is a producer of this show) and Jerry Bruckheimer (who produced Pirates) both pitched their ideas to Disney at the same time, Jerry won, so Michael just ripped his shit off and took it to Starz. I am sure there is nothing really wrong with this show… other than it is not compelling. Nothing other than Tom Hopper was interesting to me. I didn’t even wait for Zach McGowan (who has a hot body and a big dick… you saw him serving on Shameless!) to show up before I stopped watching. It’s too bad Spartacus is over because Starz has really been struggling to replace it. Attempt # 1 was DaVinci’s Demons, which is terrible. Black Sails is not much better. I love a good period piece, but this is more like period pussy and I don’t want clown mouth.

THE GRADE: D (only because I am disinterested)