Killer Women

Killer Women

THE CAST IN SIX DEGREES OF BRANDY

Tricia Helfer was on Dark Blue with LaMonica Garrett who was on The Game with Brandy.

Marc Blucas was on Necessary Roughness with Carissa Capobianco who was on The Game with Brandy.

Michael Trucco was on The Parkers with Yvette Wilson who was on Moesha with Brandy.

THE PREMISE

Caprica 6 is Parker, Texas Ranger.

WHAT WORKS

Nothing. This shit is terrible. ABC knows it too. They just announced that they have shortened the length of the show’s season, because they are moving up the premiere of Mind Games from March 11 to February 25. Cancellation is imminent. The premiere scored a craptastic 0.86 rating in the 18-49 demo, and fell to 0.7 in week 2. To give you some perspective, Moonshiners, on at the same time over on the Discovery channel, beat this show with a .99 (NCIS on CBS won the night with a 2.93). I don’t think even executive producer Sofia Vergara’s big ass titties can save this show. Who told her she should produce a TV show anyway? You know it was Salma Hayek! You know it!!

WHAT DOES NOT

I don’t even know where to begin.

Let me just say this. So, in the opening sequence, Rodney Ruxin’s wife is vogue-charging into a church during a wedding in a whore-red dress. Not a single person sitting in the church noticed. Not one. But they sure as shit noticed when she walked up to the bride and straight-up blasted her in the head with a .38! Then she just bounced out. Church full of fucking people, and girl just dips. Later in the episode, Parker Texas Ranger is interrogating Mrs. Ruxin and she utters this gem: “My training and my instincts tell me you are lying.” Then 6 gets a DEA agent she is fucking to use his connections to go down to Mexico to save Lady Ruxin’s grandmother and daughter.  At first he was thought she was crazy, then says “if we go, we go it alone!” What the fuck for?! It is so fucking stupid. The kicker comes immediately after he agrees to this fool’s errand and he says to her, “There’s an excellent chance we’re going to die in Mexico tonight.” Really, fool? You went to Mexico with the fucking star of the show, so we know you aren’t going to die. This show is dead on arrival, but I’ll watch the second episode because I want to know what one step below rock bottom looks like.

THE GRADE: F

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